My Testimony

Hi everyone! I know it's been a minute but I just thought I would update you guys. Thanksgiving is coming up, and I have so much to be thankful for. One is my story on grace and mercy. My testimony: (I'll try to be short) I grew up in a single parent home, and like most girls I never had that father figure in my life to tell me that I was beautiful or that I was worth it. Don't get me wrong my dad was there, he just wasn't in the home. My mother wasn't really a girly girl so we never had talks about boys or anything of that nature. However, I was fine growing up or at least I thought. I can recall an incident where I was not picked up after my first day of school in the first grade, and that kind of stuck out when I think of my childhood. My mom worked a lot so my big brother mainly took care of us after school. I remember my world crashing after he left and went off to college... Now that I think about it he was the only father figure we had in the home so when he left my sister and I had no one there to protect us, so everything came crashing down. Financially we started to struggle and had to move back to the country to live with our grandmother. I can recall crying and begging not to move back... I was at a new school with lots of friends, so I begged my dad for us to live with him. We did for a while but that ended in him saying " I can't take care of y'all anymore." so back to the country we went.... Now I was a very shy kid and I didn't talk much or have too many friends coming up and I never understood why til now. So with being in such a small town there wasn't much to do.... It was in the 10th grade that I found out girls were already having sex. Peer pressure lead to me losing my virginity at a young age from then on it was boy after boy, and then relationship after relationship. I found myself going round and round. Now something I left out which was a good part about growing up in the country I had a wonderful grandmother that kept us in church on the front pew, she made sure that we stayed in church. I sang in the choir etc. My dad also was a minister and we would visit churches with him as well. I also remember while living in the city with my mom a bus would come and pick us up and take us to a church where we also learned about Jesus. I accepted the Lord as my saviour at a very young age. Ok so fast forward back to my story. Although I had several boyfriends I never really experienced anything bad... I kept a good job, car, and apartment. Until one day I got a new phone after breaking up with a ex. I sent a text saying this is my new number, and a guy I had met at the movies a while back text me back. To make a long story short I was in a 4 year long relationship with him after I found out I was pregnant.... There was abuse, drugs, and partying. I see now why God slowed me down. I ended up having a second child by him so I was left with not one but two babies. I had to fend for myself in the city with what was almost like having twins but I made it. While I was pregnant with my daughter my grandmother passed away, she was the backbone of my family. I got through that though with God's help, and I was making it but still being hard headed and wanting to fill the void my kids dad had now left I started back with fornication again until I ended back with the father of my kids. It was like God said enough! I can remember just humbling myself to him at a funeral of my friends that was my age. Well God heard my cry because from there I became celibate, so I honored him with my body. I stopped drinking alcohol which I also used to try and fill that void. God planted me in a house back in the country secluded from everything that could harm the vow I made to him... I experienced receiving the Holy Spirit so I no longer have to fight this battle alone. I still get tempted but in the midst Jesus is the first name I call and the devil flees. I am patiently waiting until marriage to have sex and I am proud to say that. Without God I am nothing and I thank him daily for being so mercifully. I made mistakes but I found that I was only trying to fill the void of abandonment and feelings of being unloved. A personal relationship with Jesus is so important and I hope that I inspire someone by this... it doesn't matter how many kids you have or where you are in life... You can overcome anything with Gods help. I rededicated my life when I moved back to the country and I can remember my pastor saying "Stop it!" Like he knew I was being foolish so I don't know who I'm talking to but "stop it!" No one can fill that void but Jesus. Humble yourself to him and I promise you'll be like the woman at the well in the Bible Jesus said "if you drink of the living water you will never thirst again." I no longer thirst for the things of this world and you won't either. Thanks for allowing me to share be blessed....Til next time ttyl

update

Hmm so I decided to post its been a minute and alot has changed.... all for the better though ived noticed that the enemy is busy. the bible says in Ephesians 6:12 "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against pincipalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in highplaces" which means that sometimes its not that person that were wrestling with but the enemy and the fact that he plays on our weaknesses. So if men was always a downfall for you he will use that to his advantage or whatever it may be and not just for reasons of lust or fornication... Sometimes as a way of distracting you which could then lead to Idolizing and God is a jealous God. Lots of things that we know could become an issue its best to take a step back and if your wondering if its wrong or not you can begin to ask the question... Does this line up with The word/ The bible? if not then it maybe that you should let it go, when you make a decision to live for Christ its not going to always be easy and you may not understand but to give yourself away or to be obedient it takes denying self ALOT. We are to be as Christ like as possible... Being Celibate or chaste is not about finding someone who will not have sex with us and linking up as quick as possible its about embracing this walk with Christ, allowing him to use you as much as possible while in this phase of our lives. The bible says that our focus should be on Christ while single and then once married we'll think of the world and how to please our husband, which means it'll be alot harder to serve God once married. My focus now is on God and if i just so happen to stumble upon someone while running for Jesus then i'll introduce myself but until then im working on my purpose and being the best me that i can be. ok thats enough... til next time loves ttyl :)

Update

Hi everyone, one thing I think I shy away from a lot on here is the truth... And we all know that the word = truth... I just want to make it known that my main reason for celibacy/ Chastity was because of the word and my relationship with God. The bible says that there's several things that will keep you from the kingdom of heaven and fornication is one also it says in "1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." Your body is a temple and should be kept Holy and pure until the day your husband finds you.... Flee meaning to run away from...I know I want to go to heaven and my prayer is that I see all of my readers there too. I think we sometimes get so caught up in the idea of celibacy and claiming to be celibate and forget the main reason that we do.... That's so that God can use us and we can present our body's as a living sacrafice to Him. Anyways I had to get out... Hope everyone has a blessed day! :)

Update

Ok so I had to post this week because so much has happened that I don't even know where to begin, ill be brief though... Well I reached the end of August (my birthday was Aug. 31st) and after fasting so much was revealed but then there's also a lot of question that have yet to be answered.... Through it all though I felt God was saying.. Trust me. Several times the scripture "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not to thine own understanding in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct you path" kept popping up.... The enemy is busy and he wants to side track you, he tries to slips in and blur your vision so there are times when we have to refocus. I know God sent me that passage to say I got this and I got you so don't worry about a man, don't worry about anything. I noticed that with being celibate or abstaining from anything really we want to rush things like marriage, or move to quickly before Gods ready.... I was able to bring it back to reality and as much as I like this one person I have to 1st be about my kingdoms business and I know everything else like a husband will fall in line, what's meant to be won't go away..... No worries. Ok Gn yall P.s Thank you God for my Birthday present... I know one day it'll be complete on your time, so have thine own way.

Update

Ok so I'm up late once again and thought id give you guys an update.... Not too much has changed but I was in church all day Sunday, worshiping.... It was woman's day at my church, both ministers did an Awesome job delivering Gods word and I was (literally) moved by both messages. Everything in my life is falling in place and I now know why this month is so important, and why things are happening. August the 8th month in the Christian world is the New year/ New beginnings... I truly feel like God is getting me ready for what's to come. Besides that though I started school this week an it just seems as if I belong in these business classes I finally for once in my life feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose in life. I'm telling yall God is Amazing, He's truly all that. I've been thrown all types of distractions this week from fake proposals to what I think was infatuation. I was searching for answers, and depending on man to tell me, when God showed me right there in the womens bathroom written was "Trust God".... Then the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said " Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge him an he shall direct you path". One of my favorite scriptures and I knew then, that meant.... God was saying :Once you put all your trust in me, your obedient, and you acknowledge me I won't lead you wrong. I'll set all the RIGHT men in your path, ill shed light on all the wrong ones.... He was pretty much saying I got your back. I dare all of you reading this to trust him whole heartedly with your life, whatever problems situations, trials nothings too big for God. Hes waiting to give you that clean slate but 1st you have to confess, repent, and then acknowledge that Jesus Christ is lord. That simple I have wayyy to many testimonies to post but I'm very passionate about it... This is one decision in my life that I don't regret making. Anywho guess I better get some rest Ttyl :) oh comment if you have questions or wanna talk.... Serious inquires only though. Gn

update

Hey guys, I'm just up thinking once again so here's another update: a lot has happened in the last week or so but my faith in God stays strong .... It's crazy how when I'm going through issues attempting to make mistakes I can always count on my 2 angels to keep me on track, God has placed 2 very special people in my life..... one is my sister and its crazy how were always going through similar situations at different times... Like I've been through it so I can give her a heads up or advice on something an vice versa. I am truly blessed because the devil is sneaky he wants you to feel that things are much worse than they really are... My second angel whom I'm choosing to keep private kinda popped up out of no where, but when I say he's the most sweetest, kind hearted person I've ever met. If I'm struggling with somethin no matter what it is he's always there. I have never talked about God so freely or connected with anyone one on this level and its kind of a scary blessing but I'm so thankful that he's here.... I'm so excited about the future and all God has in store for me. I start school next week and my new Job the following week its like its blessing after, blessing... Anywho my Chastity journey is still the same and nothing's changed. Let me get some rest though. #Allsmiles ttyl :)

Update

Ok so here's my weekly update: I've had several comments (one posted here), arguments, and disagreements about MY personal decision to be chaste or celibate. I get statements like: "once you get a man that will change"... "What if you get with someone, marry him and the sex isn't good?"... "Why now?" And too many others to name. Lol let me just set the record straight this vow that I took before God, my friends, and family was not for show... I didn't buy this ring because it was cute or to "show off" . I made this decision at this point in my life because of vision God showed me and the plans that he has for my life. It's Impossible for him to use, bless, touch or even speak clearly to those who are wavering in sin, and being disobedient to his word. My sister ministered today that it says in the bible " faith with out WORKS is dead" and I've said that hundreds of times we also say "may the WORKS I've done speak for me".... Works in the bible we define as following the bible, being obedient, following all the ten commandments and fearing God. You wrap all that in to one and you are where I'm at now in my life striving to be that proverbs 31 virtuous woman. I have no question, doubt in my mind that God has just the right Man for me and on his timing we' ll link up.... I just wanna do as many Works as I can, show my light to as many as possible, and save as many souls as possible. My vision is so much clearer these days... I know this walk is not easy.... the enemy is not gonna let me off that easy, I may stumble, I'm not perfect and I have faults.... but I repent. I also have Joy, I'm at peace, and I can sleep at night knowing that if its my time I have no worries. I hope I touched someone by this, it was alot longer than expected but Anywho guess I better get some rest. Good night loves. Ttyl :)

update

Hey peeps, I'm up in my thoughts and I didn't want to neglect yall.... My life has been like a rollercoaster lately but thank God hes given me strength to keep pressing... I've been reading my bible a lot (well the bible app) and I'm reading several of the plans called she reads truth : Women in the bible.... It's like God reveals somethin to me daily that helps me with this walk. I see so much clearer now, my whole perception of life has changed and the reasons why I'm here, I just want to be obedient and allow Him to use me. I know sometimes I've found myself jumping ahead of him but I thank you Jesus that you have placed people in my life that steer my right back into the right direction and right back to your pace. I've noticed that once I removed all of those things that some how brought lustful thoughts in my mind that it makes being celibate a breeze..... It's truly nothing and sex outside of marriage is overrated. I was beginning to think that God placed a certain person in my life to be my husband but now I see that he's to coast me through this. It maybe more but right now my focus is on the bigger picture... I just want to let everyone know that Jesus is real and if you don't have him your missing a treat... Having a personal relationship with him is the best thing that I couldve ever done. I'm so much happier, content, at peace. Anyways let me get some rest. I'll talk to yall later. Good night :)

update

Hey guys, I decided that id give yall an update since I have a lot on my mind.... I received my ring but for some reason I cant get it to post. Anywho sooo my kids were with their dad this past weekend and although I miss them it was great because I woke up Saturday day and ate, I took a long nap and was able to catch a movie after... God even fixes where I fixed a full course meal for myself expecting my sister and nephew to show up and they didnt. Not only that but he spoke a lot to me that day showing why certain things happened in my life and a bit of what he has planned. Im still in awe at how he can use and speak to little ol me. I listened intently though that day.... and even though since then the devil has tried to attack me at all ends. I just smile and think back to that day I spent with him alone in peace and the things he showed me. The devil can not and will not steal my joy.. I have power over my thoughts. I'm putting on the full armour of God and I just want to challenge everyone out there that's fighting any kind of demon to give it over to God... Lay it all out, tell him your problem, and be obedient and I promise He'll fix it. Thanks for reading loves. Well that's all for now...Talk to yall later :)

update

Hey guys, I'm back! I've been having all types of mixed emotions these days but I think its mostly the fear (enemy) of the unknown... We sometimes wanna rush to get to know someone or rush into a relationship so that we can get to the happily ever after but God doesn't work that way.. its all in his timing and he'll set the perfect person (your soulmate) in your path in due season... Which means when your ready and as women we don't have to do much because the bible says... Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife FINDETH a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. So the MAN is suppose to search , seek , and pursue. We just have to be ready when he comes.... God knows your situation and he has the perfect one that will compliment you.. so no worries on my part. I just have to stop letting my emotions or the enemy tell me that my waiting is in vain or I should just settle. No my waiting is not in vain and God has set aside the perfect guy for me. Speaking that to life! Ok well thats all for tonight...Thanks for the chat folks... If you ever get a chance look up Meagan Good and her husband and how they both were celibate and some of the things they did to stay that way til marriage. Oh and my ring is on the way I ordered it and I'm too excited. Well talk to yall later... Bye :)

Update

Ok so I'm back by popular demand lol.....Anywho I must say though that somethin I was not prepared for was how busy the devil would be after making such a bold move in the right direction, he's come at me at all angles. Just as the scripture says "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" its so true though. I heard a sermon Sunday that just made everything click into place, he said that we all want to live a perfect life and to be perfect but our OBEDIENCE is perfection to God..... When he said that I was like MAN!!!! he is so right! God is perfect so how on earth can I possibly be him, when Eve set us up for failure when she ate that Apple. So if you do slip or whatever don't ever give up or.think that you might as well keep sinning or give in. God is not like man he doesn't count of how many wrongs you've done. Dust yourself off and try again.... That was an amazing and powerful message that I will never forget. So I've decided from here to get me a ring this weekend to make it an official Covenant with God... I'm going to dive in full force with a new outlook on celibacy, continue to focus on me and getting myself together. When I posted this I had no idea that anyone would care but I see there are those who do so.. love yall. I'll post pics of my ring also .... Stay tuned for more posts - Taira B :)

update

Ok so heres my weekly update... Nothing has changed.... lol. I have been able to thank God he spared me from Marrying all of the wrong ones. I do not want a divorce and once I'm married that won't be and option. I see so many now in relationship hoping and praying for a proposal that may never come. I can now look back and praise God that it never did and I want other women out there to know that if you have to ask, guess, and/or question if your both on the same page and want the same things then he's probably not the one. God is only waiting for you to get tired enough to surrender it him... Only then is he able to heal/mend so that he can place you whole hearted in front of your soulmate the one God designed just for you. There will be no more questioning youl know its real, and you know how I know? he won't propose only to make you happy but he'll do it because knows that in the eye of the Lord thats the right thing to do. Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD... It's in the good book. That word favour has been popping up in my head and I didn't know why but now I know. Lol I even googled it... Just know ladies that he's out there and God is waiting to give you the desires of your heart but first you have to trust him. Ummm k more updates to come. Thanks again for reading Much love, Taira B :)

The beginning

I have no idea where to begin and I know this is gonna be a struggle. I woke up one day and was disgusted with my life, not that I was treating people wrong or doing the wrong things.... everything else correct it was just that there was always that one part of my life that I felt needed changing. You name it I've done it physically, sexually, and I was left feeling emotionally dead. Sex is meant for a husband and a wife, to be sacred and not something that you give to a so called boyfriend. Boyfriend is nowhere in the bible.... I want to be open to receive love, so that when God sends my Boaz ill recognize exactly who he is because he'll be the one who stayed and got to know me for me, flaws and all. Not sexually but mentally.... like I said this is all new I'm not perfect so I know its gonna be tough but I'm trusting God and praying that this adventure will lead me to my husband/soulmate. :)... More posts and updates to come. Thanks for reading.